Firstly I should say that I have no intention to read Stephanie Myers' deliriously delectable Twilight series most simply because I am:
A. Not a woman/teenage girl.
B. Prone to hearing about Edward's heaving bosom, quivering sweaty dripping lips or his hairless tender vampire nipples, and so on.
My wife and every woman I know on this planet Earth has already read or shortly will read the last book in this series. And when that day comes I will be a happy man.
To be fair to Cicada, she has not put me through the anguish of comparing me unfairly to a fictional character as perfect as he apparently is. I appreciate that. It's hard enough to be constantly aware of what you lack in whatever way, than to always have this image of a perfect hunk of mantasticness reminding you, your wife could have married {insert hunk of choice....Fabio for example}, which leads me to:
The saddest proclamation I have heard in a long time.
Which is:
My co-worker's wife's married female friend lamented recently that she feels like she didn't find her Edward!
I don't know her or anything about her husband but all I can picture is a decent guy, albeit kinda dumpy looking and has does NOT have the ability to suck blood out of peoples bodies, oh and his heart actually beats. Certainly a strike against him.
But at any rate, I want to BE Edward, minus the blood sucking or desire to anyway. I want to have Cicada be proud that other women are saying: "If only I could have married my Murray." But alas, the closest I will probably come is my heavily doctored picture on this post.
So Edward, Eat your heart out, I bet you'd enjoy that wouldn't you?
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8 comments:
*laughs* You know, I have to agree with you on this. I think it's stupid how many girls now have unrealistic pictures of what a man and romance in their lives should be like. I personally find Edward in those books annoying. He's just too perfect. His only flaw is that he's a vampire. He should at least have big ears, or an uncontrollable eye-twitch or something.
Well, I've read the first 3 books and will read the 4th book. Dan even read them. He thinks they're stupid, but how could he not read them. He teaches all the youth in sunday school at church and that's all they talk about (that or Harry Potter). Plus, I guess you could call it research in a way. Regardless, I think you should just suck it up (pun intended) and read them. They're fast reads. Get on the bandwagon.
I read the first book and found it fun, but I will not read the rest. As a young, LDS woman, I feel very alone in this decision. Oh, well.
To play devil's advocate, though, is it possible that what your coworker meant something other than that her husband wasn't perfect and thus not enough? I can think of a lot of interpretations for that other than yours. Just sayin'. Of course, she should have kept those kinds of thoughts to herself, or at least between her and her husband (and revised so that the sentence "you're not my Edward" never escaped her lips).
Everyone who is blissfully married to a sweet, sweet, but ever so slightly imperfect man IS saying "I married my Murray." Because you are TSMITW2. (Except me, because I married TSMITW.) Even Nemesis has to say it, because she got TSMITW3. But other than me, yeah. Everyone is pretty much saying that. You have arrived.
Awesome... absolutely awesome.
Part of the reason I kind of hate the books, despite being addicted, is that I think the main character is going for "her Edward" instead of the "decent guy, albeit kinda dumpy looking." I'm all about the dumpy guy and in her case the dumpy guy is pretty hot too. What is wrong with her? Of course I haven't read the last book so maybe she'll chose the dog over the vampire. I'm only 1,783 in line at the library for it.
You are HILARIOUS! I love the heavily doctored pic...hilarious. I'm a vampire lover, I'll admit it. But the final book has been read, and I'm ready to put the books on the shelf and let my own "vampire" sweep me off my feet... since that happens alot when you've been married for 8 years.
I read the first 100 pages of the first book before, mercifully, my wife's sister saved me by wanting to borrow the book, to which I agreed and told her to take her time reading it and to in fact not give it back at all to make both of our lives easier.
I found myself nauseated and yet impressed at the same time with how many ways the author could describe Edward's incredibly masculine but perfectly in touch with his feminine side too, bulging yet appropriately slim, perfectly, perfectafied, perfectionatly perfect, if not perfectly shimmering physique. (I think that may be an actual quote from the book.)
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