Her name was Susan.

So before I found the incomparable Cicada......I had to go on a lot of first and second dates. My attitude was that I was willing to give most anybody a chance but I generally could tell on that first date whether or not we were clicking.

Anyway, one date of note that I reflect back on helps me appreciate the wonder that Cicada is.

I should disclose that I tried out ldssingles.com and arranged a few dates that way. I am extremely glad I did because it was through one of the girls I went out with that essentially I met Cicada.

Anyway, I asked this girl named Katie to pick a place in SLC to eat.......she chose the most expensive place in town.....The Roof at the JSMB. She told me she could be wearing a purple feather boa....of which I assumed was a joke........it was not.

To make a long story short, she came on really strong and was very smothering and told me that I would be a great father, flattering as it is...a little early for such talk.

Needless to say I decided not to ask her out again. A couple weeks passed and I received a call from an operator telling me I have received a relay call that allows deaf people to use the phone through the internet. It seems that you don't have to actually be deaf to use this service....

The following is a log of that conversation.


CONVERSATION LOG


OPER: SPRINT RELAY


OPER: This is Murray...

USER: How are you Murray? Can you guess who this is?

OPER: (SILENCE) Um, I'M NOT SURE...

USER: Ok, Ill give yo u a hint, We we went out on a date together.

OPER: (SILENCE)

USER: Come on, we went on a date for lunch a couple of weekends ago

OPER: UM KATIE, IS THIS KATIE?

USER: Yeah, its me!!

OPER: UM HI...

USER: I remembered that you worked for this company

OPER: ARE YOU....

USER: I sent you emails but I haven't heard any response

OPER: I JUST DECIDED NOT TO DO THAT ANYMORE

USER: I'm sorry to use this relay massage I didn't know how to get a hold of you

USER: I just didn't want to end this....

OPER: UM,

USER: I really, I had a really, really good time with you Murray

OPER: YEAH I

USER: I really think that we could have something great together

OPER: I ENJOYED MYSELF....

USER: Why didn't you call me again

OPER: UM MY FEELING WAS THAT ALTHOUGH WE HAVE A LOT IN.....

USER: Did you think I was too big or something?

OPER: NO IT WASN'T THAT IT, IT WAS MORE A MATTER OF PERSONALITY DIFFERENCES....

USER: I liked it when we could talk about the family and kids and all. Do you like the name Susan?

OPER: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT...

OPER: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT...

USER: Never mind, we should go out again I’m not prude or anything...

OPER: I'D RATHER NOT AND I APOLOGIZE IF THIS HURTS YOU....

OPER: KATIE, IT WAS ONE DATE....I DIDN'T FEEL A CONNECTION SO I DECIDED NOT TO PURSUE IT.

USER: Wait, stop saying that! You are scaring me, it DOES hurt me....Can we give it another try?

USER: One date? then why did you go in the first place!!

USER: Murray, actually, i didn't want to tell you but I had a dream about us together. I feel deeply in my heart that it was a sign. We where together with a large family, 6 kids , can you believe it? One of our kids was named Susan, I hope this doesn't scare you.

OPER: UM FRANKLY IT DOES SCARE ME A BIT KATIE

USER: Please, Murray, this is a big deal to me

OPER: I'M REALLY SORRY

OPER: (SOUNDS BORED)

USER: I know you are the only one for me, our paths will never separate I don't care what you say know, you will learn soon know too, this is our fate. Murray can we just......I'll just come over tonight and we can talk and get close.

OPER: I'M TOO WEIRDED OUT BY THIS AND....

USER: We can talk and hold hands and we can see what else happens...

OPER: YOUR MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE. PLEASE DON'T CALL ME AGAIN I’M SORRY TO HAVE TO SAY THIS.

USER: Don't hang up damnit!, I have a Christmas gift I would like to give you, let me do that at least.

OPER: NO PLEASE DON'T CONTACT ME OR CALL ME I'M ASKING THAT MUCH

USER: Come on. you are beautiful, you have the sweetest lips and the tightest ass.

OPER: (WOMEN IN BACKGROUND TALKING TO MALE)

OPER: OK I'M HANGING UP NOW

USER: I came to see you and followed you to lunch at The Chef's Table...You where in the there for so long, I had to leave, I just want to see you.

OPER: LET....JUST....ONE LAST THING..YOU'VE GONE WAY TOO FAR.

OPER: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU PSYCHO.

USER: I want to make sweet love to you Murray.

OPER: I CAN'T SAY THIS ANYMORE. PLEASE.

USER: We can have children together

OPER: LEAVE ME ALONE, GOODBYE!


(PERSON HUNG UP)


USER: HELLO ARE YOU STILL THERE?


***YOUR CALL HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED***


At this point I am freaking out and I am telling a couple co-workers that I have a stalker on my hands and I am nearly hyperventilating.......it was at this moment that the rest of my co-workers entered the room and told me it was just a prank. I have never been more relieved.

Oh and by the way...

My female co-workers told me to call her a psycho.....I would never normally call anyone a psycho....even if they were.